Adult women with ADHD: The Three Unspoken Myths About Attention Deficit Disorder over 40
It happens every week: I receive emails from midlife women who are surprised to find out they have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD or ADD). These women are determined to fix their ADD so they can get on with the rest of their lives. And they want solutions. Now.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disordes
I tell them as gently as possible that there are no quick fixes when dealing with ADD, especially when women are diagnosed over age 40. Television ads for prescription medication, Internet enticements for homeopathic remedies and thousands of organizing tips sidestep three assumptions women make about their ADD, myths than can stop their progress cold.
Myth #1: ADD is temporary
Respected medical research shows that Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is a life-long condition with a genetic link -- it tends to run in families. That means adult onset ADD is impossible. Women diagnosed as adults certainly had ADD as children, but they managed to cope with their ADD-ish symptoms: sometimes successfully, sometimes not.
Usually there is a breaking point at which ADD shows up, changing jobs, for instance, divorce or even menopause. The coping mechanisms that worked so well in the past are overwhelmed, opening the door to a belated ADD diagnosis.
Bottom line: Women dealing successfully with their ADD can create new routines, improve their life strategies, take appropriate medications, but still have ADD-ish tendencies. ADD never goes away. But ADD is not a life sentence; it's a life style.
Myth # 2: ADD treatment is a smooth, steady process
By its very nature, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is erratic; attention flits from one subject to the next. Easily bored, ADD adults require frequent changes of scenery or topic. So it is with ADD treatment. Finding the right combination of medications, behavior changes and structure can take months or even years.
Women with ADD are as tenacious as bulldogs. They rarely give up: except on themselves. After a lifetime of failed attempts and false starts, it's easy for them to be discouraged by slow progress of ADD treatment.
Bottom line: Expect treatment effectiveness to dip and climb like a roller coaster. Trying new medications, nutrition, exercise, supplements and other treatments will yield some home runs as well as some foul balls. Results can be spectacular, but they require time and a bit of patience.
Myth #3: You can "fix" ADD all by yourself
Many ADD women live in self-imposed isolation. They don't want anyone to see their messy houses or find out they never get to work on time. That isolation perpetuates negative self talk: that they aren't good enough or that other people don't want them as friends or partners.
When women realize that their ADD doesn't vanish with a round of medication or more willpower (refer to Myth #2), they sometimes retreat to the safety of solitude again. But ADD women need the support of other women who truly understand the personal impact of ADD. They need to know they aren't the only ones who re-wash the laundry (twice!) because they forgot to transfer it to the dryer. Or who talk too much and pay attention too little.
Bottom Line: An adult ADD support group, especially one designed for women, can ease the transition from ADD to ADDiva Enlisting the help of an ADD coach, a professional organizer and/or a psychiatrist or psychotherapist who specializes in adult women's ADD can also be crucial to the process of integrating ADD successfully.
Smashing these three myths about women's ADD means faster, more effective treatment, which can lead to a calmer, more focused life. Women who embrace their ADD as a life partner are women who open the door to living their own deepest dreams.
Midlife Women With ADHD - Exposing the Three Great Myths About Attention Deficit Disorder
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