ADHD stands for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder with the primary symptoms being inattention, impulsive or erratic behavior, and hyperactivity. ADHD children are typically impatient and become bored and/or frustrated easily.
If there was ever a recipe for titanic tantrums it would be the above symptoms all mixed together in a flammable concoction and then ignited by some unforeseen need, want, or desire.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disordes
I was told a story recently by an adult woman who has struggled with the impulsive hyperactive type of ADHD since childhood. She reflecting back on her days as a young child when she would drive her parents to drinking by asking hundreds of times "Are We There Yet" on their way to the family vacation spot. She also admitted she threw in a tantrum or two when she failed to get the attention she wanted.
Many parents of children with attention deficit disorder know this story all too well because they have lived it. On the other hand those who haven't experienced attention deficit hyperactivity disorder up close and personal would be hard pressed to relate.
So this brings us to our first cornerstone for how to deal with ADHD tantrums and that is to be patient, and if possible stay calm. Let's face it as a parent there will be only so much you can take but by remaining calm (at least on the outside) you will be able to control the situation much better and set the narrative once things settle down.
Acceptance. Remember your child likely has a neurotransmitter (dopamine, norepinephrine) chemical imbalance in the brain combined with the possibility that certain areas of the brain controlling self-regulation may be underdeveloped. You must accept that tantrums are part of the parenting landscape. Acceptance will help you be more prepared and stay calmer since you know the inevitable tantrum is coming.
Like parent like child. Well maybe. Believe it or not there a couple of genes passed down from a ADHD parent to ADHD child that have been linked to irregularities in the dopamine pathway in the brain and likely contribute to self-regulation problems such as tantrums. Perhaps as a child you threw a tantrum or two. If so ask yourself how you wanted your parents to respond during these episodes. You may have the answer as for how to deal with ADHD tantrums effectively and not realize it.
If possible don't give in. As parents we all give in from time to time but by giving in to a screaming child you are conveying the message that if they scream long enough and loud enough they will eventually get what they want.
Take the emphasis off the present. For example your are in the grocery store on isle five when your child comes unglued over not being able to have 5 giant bags of M&M candy. If you can convince them something better is on row 7 they very well might calm down and forget about row 7 on row 6. I once overheard an ADHD counselor convince a child that the most important thing they were going to do today was the next thing. This kept this child looking forward and reduced their tantrums by about half. It was a brilliant strategy but likely is not right for every ADHD child.
Homeopathic remedies. Most homeopathic remedies for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder contain at least one ingredient that helps to quell tantrums and disruptive behavior. A couple of examples are Hyoscyamus and Arsen iod. Something to think about wouldn't you say?
In conclusion, there is no 100% foolproof guidebook that has all the answers when it comes to how to deal with ADHD tantrums. That said, hopefully the information above will provide you with enough useful information to formulate a comprehensive plan for child tantrum management while helping you retain your sanity for at least a little while longer.
Challenges of ADHD - How to Deal With ADHD Tantrums
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